Let Go and Let in the Sunshine

One thing I have been working on lately is learning to let things go.

Now that I have you singing a popular princess song in your head, let me explain.  I have a personality trait that can either be good or bad depending on the situation.  It is a tendency to think long and hard about things other people rarely give a second thought to. 

This can be a good thing because I come up with ideas and thoughts that are original.  I also tended to learn things really well in school and understood complex concepts that were hard for some people.

Unfortunately, sometimes it is a very negative thing.  That's because my imagination and memory sometimes get the better of me.  I have a rich inner life, but as with all strengths, it can also be an Achilles heel. 

I tend to remember things that happened to me really well when they are associated with strong emotion, which means I sometimes find myself holding grudges and judging people harshly.  I also tend to have a very vivid imagination, which means I sometimes find myself thinking up every possible bad outcome of a situation and worrying myself sick. 

In other words, the downside to thinking is over-thinking.  And I am guilty of over-thinking quite frequently.   Too often I find myself getting so caught up in negative thoughts about the past or future, that I can't seem to enjoy the beauty of the present.

So here's a list of things I've read or heard that should help me let things go.  Unfortunately, I don't have references for these because they are the result of a lot of reading, talking, and thinking over a long period of time.  They have all taken root subtly, and I don't know exactly whom to give credit for these.

1.  Realize that forgiving is not the same thing as condoning what happened.  In other words, I can let something go even if it was unacceptable and I'm not okay with it.  I'm not saying it's okay if it happens again just because I refuse to let thoughts of past hurts poison present happiness.

2.  Have a balanced view of things.  Sometimes I try to be realistic and don't see that I'm just being negative.  Pessimism is not the same thing as realism.  Even if I'm afraid to be too optimistic, the least I can do is not err too much on the side of being negative.

3.  Turn it over to God.  The whole point of the Atonement is that things that are not okay can be made okay through the Savior's sacrifice.  God can make the future a success even when my best efforts fall short.  So I can trust him to take care of things instead of thinking I have to do everything on my own.  I don't have to make myself crazy trying to take care of everything myself.  It's not my job to take care of everything; it's his.

4.  Lastly, give myself space to be human.  Sometimes things are hard to let go simply because I'm putting so much pressure on myself to let go.  When I don't give myself a little space to be upset or be worried just a little bit, I sometimes get stuck and can't move past it.  As long as I keep in mind that letting go is the ultimate goal, it's okay to let that process happen at pace I can actually be successful in and not try to force it too early.  I can fall apart just a little at first as long as I move on afterward.

So, good luck to me and to any of you who are working on letting things go.  Let's quit living in a world of negative thoughts and open our eyes to the sunshine around us.