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Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Is Your Ward Suffering From STP?


Is your ward suffering from STP?  And are you one of them?

The purpose of my post is to raise awareness for a very common affliction of LDS wards.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that the majority of wards suffer from this syndrome at least to some extent.  My dad introduced me to a name for this syndrome, which is STP.  But before we get into that, let me start with a case study.

In a certain ward, there are about 80 Elders.  If about half are active, that means about 40 will be willing to do assignments like helping people move in and out of the ward.  If the ward has about 20 moves per year, that means that at least 2 Elders should be at every move, even if they only show up to 1 move a year.  But as we all know, if only 2 Elders do show up at a move, it will probably be the 2 Elders that showed up at the last move.  And the move before that.

The same people seem to always be the ones to volunteer for everything.  And it tends to happen for everything that goes on in the whole ward.  The same people are the ones bringing dinner to someone whenever a dinner is needed.  They are the same ones stacking the chairs after Stake Conference when everyone else has gone home.  They are the same people who sign up to bring a dessert to the ward party.  They are the same ones who show up first and work the hardest at any service project. 
They are the STPs.  The S-ame T-en P-eople.  I've got to admit, when my dad told me his name for this, I had to laugh because it was just so true!  STP.  Same Ten People, faithfully doing most of what goes on in the ward.

And it is the same in almost any ward you go to.  The same ten people do 90 percent of the work that is done in the ward.  After a move where only two Elders and a few Young Men showed up, my husband declared one of those Elders to be in line for the next Bishop of our ward because he is there at almost every move.  I laughed, but I had to agree that it might just be true.  He is one of the STPs of our ward.

So let's raise awareness for this condition and see if we can't do a little to help.  Who knows, maybe it could stand for Same Twenty People.  And then maybe Same Thirty People.  I know, I'm a crazy optimistic dreamer.  But just imagine what life would be like if the same ten people got a day off every now and then to relax and take their kids out for ice cream.

And to those STPs out there, let me say I salute you.  You are wonderful!  You are amazing!  Our wards could not run without you!  As President Monson said, "The good you have done, the kind words you have spoken, the love you have shown to others can never be fully measured."

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

"And Becometh as a Child"

One scripture that I have always struggled a bit with is from Mosiah 3:19, the last half of the scripture says:

"...and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

The phrase "becometh as a child" has always been a bit of chafing point with me because I don't always see children as they are described in the scripture above.  In fact, a lot of times they seem to be less patient, less submissive, and less willing to submit to his father than adults.  And so it has been one of those scriptures that I read and have semi-ignored the phrase "becometh as a child" and just tried to be all of the things that it lists after that.

BUT as is always the case, Heavenly Father decided that I needed a good lesson or three or ten in why the scriptures say to become as a child, so here are a couple of experiences that I have had in the last little while that have taught me why I should be more like my children.

Almost two weeks ago, I was having a pretty crappy day.  I felt really sick, had a lot to accomplish and had done none of it.  I drove to pick my daughter up from school, was complaining away to my own mother on the phone about how crappy it was going, and watched as my son ran to give my daughter a hug after she'd been in school all day.  She rejected his hug, ran away from him, hid from him, and then came running to me and we all climbed in to the car.  I was annoyed with what she had done, but was so consumed with my own problems from the day that I didn't get off the phone, didn't correct what had gone on, and just kept complaining to my mom about things.  After climbing into the car, my daughter reminded me that I had yet to buy her a white t-shirt to be tie-dyed for field day. I was not happy, feeling sicker by the second, and yet she had to have it tomorrow and so, being a mom, I, feeling very selfless for doing it, drove to Target despite my sickness, to buy her said t-shirt.  Once we parked the car, I was finishing up the call with my mom and my daughter swung her car door open (we have a rule that they don't open the doors until the motor is turned off and it was still running) and smacked it right into the cart corral that was right next to our car.  And I lost it.  I got off the phone with my mom (because I didn't want her to correct what I already knew was going to be bad behavior on my part) and proceeded to yell at my daughter for shunning her brother, for opening the door before she should have, and for hitting the car door into something.  And we left Target as her "punishment" with me declaring that she wouldn't get a white t-shirt and continuing the lecture for the five minute drive home.  She ran inside crying and I went into the bathroom, shut the door, and proceeded to break down crying as well.

And less than five minutes later, my sweet little girl, who had heard me crying, knocked on the door and said, "Mommy, are you ok?"

I don't know about any of you, but when somebody has just yelled at me over something and made me cry, if I see them crying I don't generally think "I wonder if they are ok", I think "SERVES YOU RIGHT!!! WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND!!!"


"...and becometh as a child....meek, humble...full of love..."

Lesson #3,473,572 - Become as a child.  Forgive easily. Love fully and care for those who have hurt you.

Lesson learned.  Check mark.  I've got it.  Let's move on here.

Fast forward two full days (yes, it was two FULL days before I needed the same lesson to take place). To preface this story, I am the secretary in the primary right now, but we don't have a pianist currently, so myself and one of the counselors take turns playing on Sunday.  Because it's so hard to get everything done and play prelude music, our primary president chose to open that up to the children who are taking piano to play prelude for us while the primary presidency has a chance to finish getting everything done that they need to.  We're in primary and the primary president is asking children who would be willing to play prelude for primary, I'm at the back with my back turned to the primary finishing up some paperwork and putting stuff away in our closet.  I turn around to take down nameS (yes, I thought there would be plural) of children willing to play for us for the next few weeks.  And my daughter is the only one with her hand raised.  My sweet seven-year-old who has had exactly four lessons in the last year (yes, count them, 52 weeks) since I started giving her piano lessons. And she has her hand up offering to play prelude for the primary....and my heart plummets.  She can't read music, she doesn't know any primary songs by heart, and she has seven...SEVEN....seven? (yes I was whining in my mind at this point) days to learn something well enough to get up and play in front of all of her peers.  Yes, I realize that this is not a recital, but seriously no parent wants their child to fail miserably in front of all of their friends.  And so, being the good parent that I am, I proceeded to forget about her playing prelude until THURSDAY AFTERNOON.  Sigh.  Parental failure....again.  So I sat her down and started going through I Am a Child of God with her.  I made her a couple of things that would make it easy for her to find the notes and long story short, she played a beautiful prelude on Sunday, and she played it well enough that when the primary president asked whether they had heard what she was playing all of the children shouted out "I AM A CHILD OF GOD!"

"God does not begin by asking us about our ability, but only about our availability, and if we then prove our dependability, he will increase our capability!" 
                                                                   Elder Neal A. Maxwell

Obviously my child had learned this simple truth better than I had.

"...and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love,willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Basic Learning Resources



I think every mom wants to do all she can to help her kids succeed in school.  Sometimes the only thing that keeps us from helping our kids with learning at home is limited time and the inconvenience of trying to think up some way to tutor our kids in the skills they need.

To that end, I have put together some basic flashcards and worksheets that I hope will make it super easy to help our kids practice their academic skills.  These materials cover all the basic skills.  I plan to also post some more exciting lessons and worksheets in the future, but just to get us started, I thought it would be good to have a resource for all those basics skills.  So if you scroll down, there are printables for almost every basic skill you can think of---from addition to book reports.  My hope is that these flashcards and worksheets will be helpful and, above all, easy to use.

I'm hoping to take some of the stress and planning out of help our kids do their best in school.  I'm hoping you can come to the blog, and in a few short minutes, print what you need and be on your way.  Just click on the link to the worksheet or flashcards you want, and it will open a window to print the materials.

So here's to less stress and more learning!

Free Printable Flashcards and Worksheets:

Basic Skills Flashcards (for younger kids):

Black & White Shapes Flashcards (2 pages)

Color Shapes Flashcards (2 pages)

Written Numbers 1-20 Flashcards (4 pages)

Uppercase Only Alphabet Flashcards (5 pages)

Lowercase Only Alphabet Flashcards (5 pages)

Upper and Lowercase Alphabet Flashcards (5 pages)

High Frequency Words 1-50 Reading Flashcards (13 pages)

High Frequency Words 51-100 Reading Flashcards (13 pages)

Basic Skills Worksheets (for younger kids):

Letters Writing Practice Worksheet (26 pages)

Numbers Writing Practice Worksheet (10 pages)

Math Facts Flash Cards:

Addition Flashcards (21 pages)

Subtraction Flashcards (21 pages)

Multiplication Flashcards (25 pages)

Division Flashcards (23 pages)

Math Facts Worksheets:

Addition Level K (4 pages)

Addition Level 1 (4 pages)

Addition Level 2 (8 pages)

Subtraction Level K (4 pages)

Subtraction Level 1 (4 pages)

Subtraction Level 2 (8 pages)

Multiplication Level 1 (4 pages)

Multiplication Level 2 (8 pages)

Division Level 1 (4 pages)

Division Level 2 (8 pages)

Reading and Writing Worksheets:

Book Report for Younger Kids (1 page)

Book Report for Older Kids (1 page)

Generic Writing Page Level 1 (1 page)

Generic Writing Page Level 2 (1 page)

Generic Writing Page Level 3 (1 page)

Simple Paragraph Outline (1 page)

Simple 5-Paragraph Essay Outline (5 Pages)

Monday, May 16, 2016

That He May Know How to Succor His People

Alma 7:11-12 ~
11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
 12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

Mosiah 3:7 ~
And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people.

Doctrine & Covenants 88:6 ~
He that ascended up on high, as also he descended below all things, in that he comprehended all things, that he might be in all and through all things, the light of truth;

One night near the end of 2015, I was feeling particularly tired and drained and I contemplated (amidst the celebration of the Christmas season and all the good cheer and fun events and family time that comes at that time) why doing good doesn't always feel good.  Because when it feels good to do good then doing good is so much easier to maintain and enjoy!  But sometimes doing good feels exhausting and it's hard to keep giving and giving more and more... even when we want to feel good about doing it!

And I was having a conversation with God about how I was feeling so drained and tired, and I was shedding a number of tears.  I wondered if Jesus, in all His doing of good on the earth and the ingratitude of others for that good or the persecution, even, that he received for it, had ever felt like I was feeling, had ever felt tired or drained or exhausted from doing all that good.  I asked if He had ever cried, like me, over those human frailties.

As I asked, there flashed through my mind in an instant all the times Jesus was ridiculed for teaching the truth, all the times he was mocked or even condemned for healing others, all the times He had to reprimand His own apostles, all the times He was betrayed or let down by them, the times He had to face Satan's temptations alone, the time He was beaten and spit upon and eventually crucified for declaring the truth.  And in that instant, I knew that He had felt like I felt.  He had felt beaten down even while trying to do good.

But there came to me right after that the impression that Christ had not only felt like I felt, but had also felt what I felt.

Exactly.

When it was my turn during His Atonement, during the time He suffered just for me, He had felt my sorrows, my misgivings, my fears, my moments of exhaustion.

He had felt this night.

He knew exactly what I felt.

Every bit of it.

I cried anew as I felt an outpouring of love: from Him AND for Him.  I loved Him for loving me enough to suffer not only like me but with me in my time of need.

And because He was with me... I could keep doing good AND feeling good in my heart.

(photo credit: Greatest of All by Del Parson)

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

A Story Begging to be Told: Herbert N. Openshaw

In October General Conference of 2003, President James E. Faust said: "I encourage you... to begin to unlock the knowledge of who you really are by learning more about your forebears. We can have exciting experiences as we learn about our vibrant, dynamic ancestors. They were very real, living people with problems, hopes, and dreams like we have today."

               I always find the words of the Brethren to prove true, and this has been the case for each ancestor about whom I have learned.  One ancestor whose story has been begging me to share it is that of Herbert Nathaniel Openshaw, my maternal grandmother's father.  Luckily for me, a better writer has already told it, and it is only up to me to share his words.  Long before he was President of the Church, Gordon B. Hinckley wrote this story for the Church News in the 1940s.  Not every day do you find a tribute to your ancestor written by a prophet of God.  His words are as follows.

"Salt of the Earth: Loyal Assistant on Temple Square---Inspired by the Example of a Courageous Mother

"By Gordon B. Hinckley

"Every man is a story!

"Thousands of Sunday visitors to Temple Square have paid little or no attention to the gentleman who has counted them as they entered the Tabernacle and demonstrated the acoustics of the building.  To them he might be only one of the hired hands, or an office clerk, or a butter and egg handler.

"Butter and egg handler he is.  Six days a week that is his job.  But on Sundays he gives of his time to assist on Temple Square.  For ten years he has reported early on a Sabbath morning and has stayed for as long as fourteen hours, doing a dozen little jobs that have to be done by someone, and doing them without any consideration or compensation.

"He opens the buildings, counts the people, drops the pin in the Tabernacle, takes a group around the grounds when one of the regular guides is not on hand.  And he does it because he likes to be of service.

"There is never any question about his being there.  As sure as Sunday morning rolls around, Herbert N. Openshaw will walk through the south gate.  Men who can be so depended upon are becoming all too few even in business.  But for a man to do it, without being paid, year in and year out, winter and summer, is even more of a phenomenon.

"Of course, he is paid.  He is the first to admit it.  But not by check or cash.  His recompense comes in the pleasure of seeing and meeting people from all over the earth, and in the satisfaction of rendering service to the Church.

"Such service was not new to him when he came to Temple Square.  He has been an ordained Seventy for more than 30 years.  On two different occasions he served as a local missionary in Nebo Stake.  Since moving to Salt Lake City, he has filled two other missions, one of 25 months in Liberty Stake, and another of 27 months in Highland Stake.

"He enjoys telling others of the Gospel because it has meant so much in his own life.  Eighteen years ago his wife died, leaving him with five children.  One of them has since passed away.  Of the remaining four, three are now married, and the youngest boy is on a mission in Norway.

"When asked how he had managed to rear such a family alone, he replied: "We worked together and the Lord blessed us.  And then, I always had the example of my mother to encourage me.  Father died when I was eight, the eldest of five boys.  Mother worked for fifty cents a day doing washing and ironing.  But five cents of every half dollar went in the cup for the Lord.  And although it was a struggle, somehow we pulled through."

"It has been an unending struggle since the day of his father's death.  Beaten as a farmer during the depression by poor crops and low prices, he brought his family to the city.  Uncertain work, sickness, no mother in the home to nurse the children---those were his lot.  After getting the children off in the morning, he would look for work, and when he found none, he would walk up to Temple Square.  Encouragement came from looking at those monumental houses of worship which had come out of the poverty of his people.  When he found regular employment, he continued to come to the square on Sundays, to render such service as he could.

"Egg handler?---yes!  Gateman---yes!  Walk by and think nothing of him.  But there is a more significant story than that.  Father and mother for eighteen years, and now keeping his youngest son in the mission field.  For five years a local missionary himself.  And for a full decade a loyal assistant on Temple Square, happy to serve in the realization that perhaps indirectly he can do some good to further the cause that has brought comfort in the times of his own difficulties."


The caption reads: "HERBERT N. OPENSHAW---A devoted worker for a decade on Temple Square---"Because he likes to be of service."

                Alex Haley, the author of the book Roots, said: “In all of us there is a hunger, marrow-deep, to know our heritage—to know who we are and where we have come from. Without this enriching knowledge, there is a hollow yearning. No matter what our attainments in life, there is still a vacuum, an emptiness, and the most disquieting loneliness.”


                Herbert Nathaniel Openshaw might be my own direct ancestor, but in a deeper sense, this is the legacy of all the Latter-day Saint people.  The service rendered by our ancestors was in the hope and belief that the Gospel would one day span the globe and fill the whole earth.  He selfless service was for others' children and grandchildren, just as it was for his own.  I am proud to be a granddaughter of Herbert Openshaw.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

What is success?




 Isaiah 55:8-11 ~
 8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

 10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:

 11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. (emphasis added)

What is success?  Most of us would agree with Webster's definition: "the correct or desired result of an attempt."  Who determines what is the correct result?  The person attempting?  Or someone else?  These questions caused me to pause and ponder while reading Alma 8-12 about Alma's mission to Ammonihah.  Was his mission a success?  

Who determines what is the correct result?

 

As backstory, Alma was called to visit many cities and preach to the people there in an attempt to call them to repentance and assist them to lived more righteously dedicated lives.  The Ammonihahites were an especially hard-hearted people who were not living the gospel standards and principles and were in great need of repentance.  In preparation to teach, Alma prayed.  Alma 8:10 reads ~
"Nevertheless Alma labored much in the spirit, wrestling with God in mighty prayer, that he would pour out his Spirit upon the people..." (emphasis added)
I've felt that way many times as I've prayed about and for the desires of my heart - struggling to know how to help and bless my children, especially when they go through difficult times; pleading for assistance to overcome my own weaknesses, failings and fears; wondering how to strengthen my marriage and develop it into the fulfilling, rewarding, empowering relationship I would like it to be; or agonizing over friends and family challenged with heavy burdens.  I've "labored much" and "wrestled in mighty prayer" for a successful outcome to my desires.

Alma must have had great faith and trust in God.

 

As I pondered Alma's situation in Ammonihah, I came to the conclusion that Alma must have had great faith and trust in God.  Because, by the world's standards, his prayer was not answered successfully.  First, he was ousted from the city when he attempted to teach.  Commanded to return by God, he finally preached to the people many profound and doctrinally rich truths.  However, the apparent outcome of his mission to Ammonihah was that the faithful male Ammonihahites were cast out of the city and stoned, all the faithful wives and children as well as the scriptures were thrown into a huge fire and consumed, and Alma and Amulek, the faithful missionaries, were imprisoned for days while suffering much.  Judged by outward appearances, Alma's mission seems a failure, hugely unsuccessful, and it appears that the Lord did not bless or help the believers.   

If we look harder, with "eyes to see" the truth, we discover another perspective of success.

 

 This is where the above scripture from Isaiah comes into play: "my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord."  If we look harder, with "eyes to see" the truth, we discover another perspective of success.  For example, we know that because of this experience at least one person (who may not have believed in any other set of circumstances) was converted: Zeezrom, who went on to be a faithful, successful missionary to other peoples.  Also, we learn from Alma 14:11 that the Lord received the wives and children "in glory," that they were all saved.  Also, Alma and Amulek's faith was strengthened through the challenges they faced, they were able to work miracles, and they successfully taught many other people on subsequent missions.  And, this account in the scriptures has helped me come closer to the Lord as well.  Much success.

God knows the end from the beginning and is working not only for our own salvation but also for all those around us.

 

Sometimes the Lord's answers to our most fervent prayers result in situations or experiences that may look like failures in the eyes of the unenlightened or worldly.  Sometimes the situation appears not only unimproved but seemingly worse after heartfelt prayer.  In reality, God knows the end from the beginning and is working not only for our own salvation but also for all those around us.  The seeming "failures" really are successful when viewed with an eternal perspective.  We have to have the faith and trust in the Lord and pray to have the "eyes to see" His eternal purposes.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Gardening update

I am, perhaps, the world's most novice gardener so I thought I would share for others who are as new to this as I am, what plants look like after just a few weeks.
                                 FRUIT





My lemon tree had a bunch of beautiful white flowers on it about a month ago, this month this is what is growing where all the petals of the flowers fell off.  Looks like a growing lemon to me.  I am interested to see how long it takes them to go from flowers to bright yellow fruit.  I'm sure I could look it up on the internet, but what is the fun in that?









Here is my strawberry crop for the day yesterday.  Still super tiny, but I still haven't researched whether my strawberries are just a small variety or not.  They are kind of sour little things so I might not be leaving them on the vine long enough.





Next is my grape vine.  Can you see where the bunch is growing?  We got none of these last year, which is the year that we planted, and there are none growing on my other vine, the one we planted this year.  What I conclude from this.....is that they don't grow fruit the first year.  And yes, again, I know that I could probably find all this info on the internet but it is quite fun to figure out and see for myself.






To the right is what is going on with my raspberry "bush".  We only planted this one about a month ago and so I was surprised to walk out and find white flowers on it, but maybe, just maybe we will see some fruit this year after all.  We have had a lot more rain than usual, but we will have to see what happens with the flowers.








My pumpkins and watermelon plants finally started coming up.  I was afraid that only one of them would come up because it took several weeks for the rest to start poking up, but every seed that we planted has come up (plus several weeds that I didn't pull before the picture for some reason).


                                           On to my pots....








As you can see my summer squash are flourishing.  I have continued to put them in full sunlight and they have done fine so far.  I will see how they do over the next month as it gets hotter.











As you can see my broccoli are looking weaker than before.  I'm thinking that I will pull a few and see if the remaining ones do better.  We shall see.






Here is my sad pot of cilantro and green onion.  I do have sprouts of both, but neither look like they will survive the heat.  Although, perhaps the problem is too much water and they need more heat.  I'm hoping they spruce up and grow better as it warms up.  And on a side note, when we moved into our house there was a huge grove (is that what you call it?) of bamboo that we transplanted, and as we were transplanting we found what looked like a giant green onion mixed in with the bamboo.  I thought I had pulled all of it out, but that white puff ball looking thing behind the pot, that is at the top of the green onion that I thought I had rid myself of.  Looks like we've found something that I can't kill even when I am trying.

                        
     VEGGIES

And finally my row of peas.  I really hope that we get some peas because they are the only veggies that are really growing.  Even though they are not my favorite tasting vegetables, I have a couple of fond memories of shelling peas when we were living at my grandma's house for the summer when I was a kid.  I really want to be able to shell some peas grown out of my own garden with my kids.  Pass on the tradition.  :)



There are a few things that we planted that haven't shown up at all and I'm beginning to think that they won't come up at all.  We have a row of green beans and one of yellow onions where not one plant has come up.  These seeds were from a year or two ago and I knew they might not be good anymore because they were under a sink and got wet somehow, but I was hoping against hope that they were somehow still viable.  But I think we can all say now that once seeds get wet they will no longer grow when planted.

And here ends my little gardening journal.  Hopefully in a few weeks I can show a lot more produce on my now small plants!

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Lessons from Junior High


Are you smarter than a seventh grader?

I believe we tend to learn things over and over again throughout life. 

For example, I knew how to be unselfish when I was 6 years old and had to share my toys.  But then, almost 20 years later, my newborn would cry in the middle of the night wanting to be fed, and all I wanted was to turn over and go back to sleep.  And I learned to be unselfish all over again.  After all, I was playing in the big leagues now, and it was getting harder to be unselfish.

So here are 3 things I learned in junior high that I need to learn some more.

#1- It doesn't matter what they think.  

In junior high, maybe it was a mean girl that didn't like me because my clothes weren't cool enough.  I had to learn to see my value in spite of her negative opinions.  Now I have to learn it again when the opinion is from someone I trust and admire.  Just because someone thinks something about me, it doesn't make that opinion true.  Even when the source of the opinion is a good person.

Here are some examples of serious things I've heard good, intelligent people say:

Working moms work harder than stay-at-home moms.

Any good Mormon woman should have at least 3 kids.

If you would stay busy, you wouldn't get depression.

Kids should have fewer chores than you give your kids.

Your shoes are ugly.

I could go on, but you get the idea.  Not every opinion is a reflection of reality.  Some opinions are even potentially destructive.  Even when the opinions come from someone who usually gives good opinions.  So, I need to borrow a page from my junior high playbook and care a little less about what they think.

#2- Even best friends get in arguments sometimes.  

Fights between friends, especially girls, in the junior high years are very common.  Between the pressure to fit in and emerging hormones, junior high may be the age where friends get in more fights than any other age.  However, in less than a day, the argument has often blown over, and friends can get back to hanging out together.  This is a good thing to remember because the stakes are higher now.  I have a husband and kids that I hope to keep for all eternity.  Any time I am at odds with anyone important to me, it feels like the end of the world.  But it never is. 

People who spend a lot of time together won't always get along all the time.  What is important is the foundation of love and respect that gets us through those times.  I'm not condoning the arguments necessarily, but some stormy times are unavoidable.  And you eventually reach  the sunshine on the other side.  Forgiveness and apologies are necessary ingredients for any relationship.

#3- Don't take yourself too seriously.  

Junior high was a klutzy time for me.  First of all, I grew 7 or 8 inches in a year, so I was all arms and legs and was not very coordinated.  I routinely tripped on things and ran into things.  I also said some stupid things from time to time.  I guess my mouth was klutzy too.  Once or twice a friend of mine would even do the unthinkable and reveal the name of a boy I had a crush on, either to the boy himself or others (gasp!).  There was almost infinite potential for embarrassing situations.  It was during this time more than any other that I had to learn not to take myself too seriously.  This is still good advice.

Sometimes it is not until I am sitting in church that I look down the bench and realize my son is wearing white sports socks with his gray dress pants and black dress shoes.  I don't even want to admit to the times (yes, it has been more than once) that I've picked a kid up at school and noticed that he is wearing the same T-shirt as the day before.  And it is almost a natural law that if I ever dare venture to the grocery store without wearing makeup, I will see at least one person I know pretty well there.  If I place too much importance on being flawless, it makes for a tense, stressful life.  

I have to learn to laugh at myself.  (I am pretty silly sometimes, and some of the situations I get myself into are comedy gold!) No matter how much I would like to, I can't sweat the small stuff.  Sometimes, I can't even sweat the big stuff.  I just have to let go and try again the next time.  And hold onto my sense of humor even (or probably especially) when I want to cry.

So I guess my junior high self has some lessons for my adult self.  The older I get the more I realize I still need to learn.  From time to time I may need to re-evaluate whether I am smarter than a 7th grader.